on Sunday Dani Carerra (Wildness co-producer) and I organized a free community screening of Wildness at the Silver Platter - it was mainly for the folks who hadn't been able to make it to the LA premiere (see previous post) - including Koky (one of the bar owners and a main character in the film), some of the bar regulars, and wildness core... needless to say it was an intense, amazing/hard experience. amazing to see the film projected onto the stage of the bar, especially the performance scenes (double-take!). but also hard because it wasn't quite the turnout i had hoped for, despite how much outreach we did to try to get people from the bar to come out. more girls did turn up but mostly towards the end. nicol warned me that 9pm was too early - a better screening time would have been 11pm - my only regret was that we didn't just restart the film when it ended, so more people could see it. so we'll have do it again sometime, later...
but thinking back now, i'm realizing that my feelings of nausesa/expectation/disappointment just further expose the fact that there really is no ideal setting or audience for this film (or any film). there is no true "community" screening, where everyone is present and represented - regardless of if they even like the film (that's a whole other thing...) - but even just the idea that such a space/event could exist that truly brings everyone together. that was never really true of wildness the party, and it certainly isn't true about the film now.
for example, setting up the screening we had crazy tech problems - but what would a wildness event at silver platter be without wack sound? and without a slightly awkward trailing in of folks who were half-paying attention, half just searching for a beer... so in a way it was kinda perfect in in it's weirdness. but still STRESSFUL, given everything that was at stake for me, what i put my hopes into achievign. i am SRSLY learning to let go of all of that.
desipite knowing all this stuff in my brain, i'm realizing now how much i was still hoping in my heart to create a perfect community moment. like was this supposed to be the climax? i remember earlier questioning how to know when the film was truly "done" - well at this point i know that it's done because it is definitely OUT THERE in the world. not because it has been validated on certain levels, but because life continues to go on. maybe making a community project such as wildness is more like an earthquake that happens; at some point there is a rupture and the earth moves - but you never know how much of what you are experiencing is after-shock until it's way over... or SOMETHING.
so the LA premiere of wildness was a WHILE ago (july) but i just finally am going through photos (by gabe ayala). it's been crazy with traveling to promote the film and also getting into new projects (much to say about the significance of that) - but i didn't want this moment to go off the record - because it was pretty special and also intense in that heart-achey way of being a reflection of life.
the venue was initially a hard thing to figure out - we were in talks with OUTFEST for a while.... i was nervous that the Directors Guild of America Theater was too far west (and too west hollwoody culture) to attract all the different constituencies of the film. but we settled on it because it was the biggest venue, and also because it was legitimating. obviously not "everyone" (that is a hard word for me because of what it implies, in terms of the the questions the the film is trying to ask) was able to make it, but a LOT of trans and Latina folks came out, as well as the queer film/art world...
so this was kinda WHAT i had been waiting for since day one - all that effort shooting, editing, re-editing - was because i had tried to imagine one day screening the film for everyone all together in one room - which, including the scene of party-goers, was a lot of people! DGA1 was way sold out, all 600 seats ... but sadly not everyone was there. Koky for example had to work at the bar that night! and he couldn't get the time off (so much to say about that). Javier also could not make it because he needed to work, for reasons of financial hardship.
but all in all, i'd say it was a super amazing mix of all the people involved. INTENSITY. being there together...
Silver Platter patrons were sooo red carpet READY
WE GOT A STRETCH HUMMER OF COURSE
Silver Platter owner Nora Ramirez with her nephew and world class talent AMANDITITITA
the rush line was around the building!
WILDNESS actress Gaby Velez Gomez
notice how my co-writer roya rastegar (far left) - her hair is actually mid-TWIRL
Q&A after the screening - this was a really cool moment !
left to right: me ;), cinematographer michelle lawler, co-writer roya rastegar, producer kathy rivkin, actor (who plays the voice of Silver Platter!) and assocate producer mariana marroquin, editor clair didier, camera and creative supporter ashley hunt, wildness DJ asma maroof, soundtrack musician robbie williamson, co-producer daniel carrerras, silver platter owner nora ramirez, and wildness DJs and co-founders ashland mines and daniel pineda
afterwards we PARRTIED!
it was truly a night to remember... :)
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Mariana Marroquin, the amazing activist and actor who plays the voice of the Silver Platter in Wildness, just shared this information: Her friend Fernanda Milan, a Guatemalan transactivist living in Copenhagen needs international support for her deportation case. Learn more about it here: http://tlounge.dk/save-fernanda/